Social Anxiety - November 2013

The only eyes that see me Are all my own, Hidden, furtive glances Meaninglessly silent. Reaching out, impossible. Standing still, I burn. Too much, too much. The sensations, frictions, Eating my skin, tearing my skull. My senses fragment, intensify, bleed I divide into pieces, I'm compressed too small. I can't hold tightly enough. I'm crashing on the waves, Lost in this sea of people, My safety rafts drift away. I'll see them, who sees me? They see me, who cares? Everyone wants to have their fun, I just wasn't programmed this way. I'm solitary, You all are scary, I have no faith in myself. I lack the confidence to breathe, I'm shaking, feels like my lungs are breaking, I want to scream, to fall, To break down and cry. I really can't see the reason why I ever came here or existed. There's no love lost on me, A broke, broken half shell Who lost purpose and lacks a plan. I can't reach out, How do I---- "Hey Jojo, come with us!" "...ok"