Less and More - A Poem

"Fear is the only way to live. Fear and death and rot and hell."
The silver bird laments and sways
Upon a darkened branch of the twisted shell
Of once a grand tree, now faded grey
Much like the life of the one who lives
Deep within the caves below
Your heart which rotten feeling gives
The only majesty to which you bow.

Hang, hang your soul
And release the gruesome filth
Which clings to you still.
Freedom brings such transparent wealth
But we would never know
Never feel, never hold
Who knows how to change now?
It's too late to break the mold.

"I can't find the light"
The broken wolf howls to the moonless sky
Lost within the compassionless night
One can only wander and pass life by.
Ripples across a shadowed lake
Wishing stillness yet doomed to quiver
With every slight motion and dropping quake
Guilt-laden and thick with frosty shivers
A death from which it can never wake.

"Don't hold me, but don't hold me back."
The fire burns inside to burst apart
Every seam and curling through cracks
The smoke hides the sullen, smothered heart.
The burning bright and gripping dark
Never knew how to ignite
What ever created the original spark?
Now it never stops burning out of twisted spite.

"I never wanted to hurt anyone, no, never."
The cactus sits with saddened eyes
But hurting is all the cactus does, so sever,
Sever the limbs which keep me alive.
"I deserve the pain I would otherwise give"
An individual created which others resent
The essence of which can never fully live
Weight of your judgments, burdened, bent.

"What hell is this I've trapped myself in?"
All I hear is "You're free. Come join us beyond your cage."
But the voices are a distant, mechanical din,
If you care then why do you stand on a stage?
You are too far away to reach me now
Too caught up to watch me drift away
You may want to save me but wonder how,
The answer is, you'll never find a way.

Flailing inside, can't reach beyond the shell
Until crumbling I fall, spill over my small world, and see,
Icy whispers freeze over my hell,
Numb once again, just as well, like it should be.
Broken glass, broken glass,
This pattern remains and who is to say
"You'll be fine at the last"
But through it all, not a one of you will stay.

"How do I keep falling?"
Tumbled and jumbled and crushed,
Bloody tears, cut and broken, not hoping,
Too tired, lips stilled and hushed.
Head crushed against itself,
Heart spiralled in till it knots
Soul so far gone, set upon a lofty shelf,
I only feel whole when taking shots.

With time will the clarity deepen?
Or do the cryptic flourishes shake the mind?
Stars fear being mistaken
So far distant, their truth you'll rarely find.
Weary now, you've traveled to the end,
"Come now, see there is more here"
Don't say it, some things will never mend
The tears are no longer sincere.